Evil Cycling

I mean, seriously, really, WHAT THE FUCK.

But mostly we like her for her socks. Image via here.

But I can do a mashup between Homer and myself in our underwear, presumably binged out on coke as we prepare to burn a church down.
..So I have that going for me.

Looks like the biggest names in the last ten years of cycling are on the precipice of total and complete disaster. Of more recent fame, Alberto Contador just got word from WADA that his claim of contaminated beef being to blame for his positive test for Clenbuterol holds no water. Sorry, Alberto, do not pass go, do not collect $200. Sounds like you’re setting up to pull a Vino and take your ball and go home, threatening to quit the sport altogether. I wonder if Rasmussen will have a giggle this coming year with Ricco, as they pin their numbers on to go race.

And the grand king douche himself, Lance Armstrong is on the hot seat that is only getting hotter by the minute as the Feds are rooting around Europe, getting labs and anti-doping agencies to capitulate instantaneously to any requests for info, test results, vials of frozen piss, etc. Still, somehow, ol’ Lancey Pants has the gall to say he’s not worried – just like he always has with a slight hint of indignant “how dare you” – but I think even the biggest fanboys have to be nervously wrenching their yellow wrist bands between their thumb and forefinger. The spin machine’s kung fu is useless against Novitsky’s style. Just ask Marion Jones (who’s taken up lying through her teeth again), Jason Giambi, Barry Bonds, etc.

We at Evil can’t seem to outrun the anti-doping authorities, either, having been booted from a race recently. However, smoking a joint at the start line in full view of fellow racers, spectators, and race officials doesn’t bode too well for staying in the affair.

But, for us, it’s a bit different. We don’t mind getting suspensions. The less time we spend racing means we have way more time to spend at the bar with our friends:

In some circles in Utah, the traditional hand up still exists:

And sometimes, in places like Montana, the people are taken care of in that oh-so country way:

Please review the trailer for this upcoming film about a cycling team that sucks. Good to see a bit of parody among the parity of amateur, no-name, no-pay cycling. For the love of the sport. And beer. And chicks in wolf masks.

Click THIS LINK. Watch the trailer, and have a good laugh.

This picture has nothing to do with the trailer. Well, maybe nothing. Ok,…maybe something. Just a little something.

And Martin Erzinger pulls his weight for all of them.

As I just stated elsewhere, the more frequently this happens, the greater chance it becomes of becoming the precedent, and I don’t know how to make it happen, but that absolutely cannot stand.

Writing your feelings on a postcard might be a good start.

Judicial District Attorney’s Office
Mr. Mark Hurlbert, District Attorney
955 Chambers Rd.,
P.O. Box 295 Eagle, CO
81631 (970) 328-694 7; (970) 328- 1016 fax

Or better yet, sign the petition.

They’re called “Fucking Awesome” and they play metal on children’s toy instruments, and here’s their first press photo.

Guess which one has the cuke wrapped in foil in his pants?

(btw: the guy on the right looks JUST LIKE the burnout I used to buy weed from in the high school commons in 1989)

Mark Morford says “Fuck you” in a fancy, fancy way.