Evil Cycling

Chewie not only has some of the most finely trimmed facial hair we’ve ever seen, eyes you could get lost in, and a bevy of attractive women around him almost all times, but now he’s got this custom EVIL/AHTBM goalie mask. Word has it that he’s looking into getting a matching set of pads as well.

Now that Chewie has stepped up his role in flying the flag, we have to consider giving him a raise from five to eight nut punches a month.

A bigger pain that corralling a spiraling Stan Beaver, a bigger pain than listening to Stevil whine like a prima donna, a bigger pain that hauling Robert’s dead drunk ass out of a cop’s line of sight…..

Yes, the ol’ lappy top took a big ol’ shit. Lost engines 3 and 4 at the same time…..some how manged a fuel transfer, but I’m still scraping the treetops.

But with the help of the ever helpful Efficient Wolf, Vanessa, we’re making all the needed headway on the Evil order. Thank you from the bottom of our black, black hearts for the support. We are anxious to see our filthy brand of racing spread through the land and the world.

Now, on to some business. If your last name appears here, your shipping address is NOT CONFIRMED. Please get back to us if you can, otherwise, we’ll be shipping in mid-March to the address on your paypal account.

Here’s the role call in that sense: Van Ooyen, Kleps, Barron, Dunlop, Setzer, Hutton, Clark, Blayden, O’Keefe, Norton, Lamkey, Smith (B.), Schenburn, Gabriel, Maier, Golnick, Todd, Maresjo, Ward, McCall, Vaughn, Cariolo, Dennis.

Write me at dave at evilcycling.com please so I can make sure your address is correct, or as I said, we’ll be shipping to your stated, unconfirmed address in your paypal accounts.

You’re a bunch of miserable apes, all of you.

Time’s been crunched here in our dank cave, what with Captain Dave pimping himself to the highest bidder, Cheever still learning not to eat his crayons, and the rest of us performing coitus on Zeke’s eye socket, but that’s still is no excuse for a slow down on what needs to be quasi-regularly occurring blog posts. That said, let me be the first to thank any and all who ponied up the dough for the newest edition of EVIL jerseys. They might not get you laid, but they are certainly guaranteed to offend at least somebody, so you’ll have that going for you.
Beyond that, life in our realm of hell maintains.
I’ve made mention of this in other virtual spots, but I may as well throw it up here also.
Winter has busted the country’s balls so far in 2011, and I just want to let people know that I am personally feeling your pain. Recently, things got so shitty that I almost put on my arm warmers;

Yes indeed. Suck on that, buttercups.

And since we can’t actually provide Burt Reynolds’ mustache, we can provide a merino wool awesome thing from All Hail the Black Market. And, as you know, merino wool is actually recycled Burt mustache fibers.

Stop what you’re doing. Go here at once. When you’re in your Evil racing jersey, you’ll need something for the chill when the sun goes down and you’re drunk.

Your parents always told us you were a failure.