Do you have a D.A.R.E. program in a school or community center near you? Want to know how to turn those squeaky clean do-gooders to the dark side? Click the pic and we'll show you how.

Who's in charge now, yo? I'll give you a hint: it's not Jesus.

Winter? Whatev. We got ski bikes. Big race in February. Build your own for less than $50 and you can rock it in the Deer Pen with us. Kris's buddy drilled a hole in his hand building this one. That's dedication G.

Cheevil Knevil's new ride. Dig it. Fixie cruiser. Rock.

Cap'n Dave's Pro Cyclists Suck end of year addendum

This just in - and I am laughing my ass off. Here's the latest quote from one Mr. Johan Musseuw, regarding his recent alleged involvement with a drug peddling veterinarian. Musseuw said, "I have done never crazy things. High trees catch much wind. Only I did not know that I was such a tall tree. But I am deep [rooted], they do not blow me down." (VRT Nieuws) Ok, first I will vomit from laughter, then I will split my sides from laughter, too. Funny how they con themselves into thinking they've done no wrong, eh? People are in jail, boxes full of shit confiscated from riders houses, and here Johan is talking some shit about wind and trees. You know what else trees catch, Johan? Fire, you stupid fuck, and most likely, you are going to burn. Unless, they poo-poo the great Musseuw, allowing him an easy out as he faces imminent retirement making it easy for him to scurry into a hole somewhere and disappear.

 

Now Dave's pissin' off the cops... again. Go read it in Captain's Corner

Dig Dave's new Pro Cyclists Suck entry. It's true you know... they really do suck.

Hippies and welding torches - they just seem to go together

Ah Fuck. Winter in Milwaukee is probably a lot like that of Minneapolis, we just get to see it coming while it makes it's way from them to us. The cold rides are good though, like Sov says, we'll kill you in a few months time, drink whiskey from your eye sockets, and mail your saddles to your mamas with a lock of your hair taped to them. Nah, kidding. We'll be at the bar. Foolish will be the Evil that takes the start line to prove the obvious. Just wait and see. Poor you, no organs.

 

All seems to be well with the crew, the boys and girls are playing nicely and we seem not to have lost anyone. We welcome aboard some new members to actual team status. Due to join Evil for the '04 Ragbrai will be the following riders: Jon S. of Chicago, and Mia J. of Minneapolis. Their contracts are still wet with ink, and there's still a little blood coming out of the nub from their pinky finger, which we cut off as a sign of good faith on the riders parts. They will both begin their EPO and NESP treatments soon. We welcome them, and hope they have a good first year.

 

Holidaze! Fucking A right! Hanging out with people you wouldn't piss on to put out a fire, and eating way too much fucking food. I'd throw in "drinking too much" in there, too, but we all know we all do too much of that already. I'll be sure to take part in the rigmarole for as long as it takes until I feel the urge to kill someone, which by recent years standards should be about 3.6 seconds. Die, you fat fucking lie of a Santa Claus, die. I hope the linkage on your sleigh breaks and you eat it at about 75mph into the roof of Mr. & Mrs. Janowicz's house, you fat fuck.

 

We hope you all have a very shitty Christmas.

 

-Evil

12/5/03 - Winter's gettin gray and shitty up here in Minneapolis. Probably doing the same thing where you are. If it ain't, then shut the fuck up. The last thing we want to hear is how freakin' nice it is in your pussy hometown. Remember, we're tougher than you - always. In fact, we look forward to the punishment of the colder months. On each snowy, slushy ride we think about the looks you'll have on your face when we pedal away from you - having just stolen one of your kidneys to sell on the black market. Don't fret, just let it happen. I think the Marine snipers say it best when they remark, "Don't try to run, you'll only die tired." I know you've been askin' for it, so it's on its way. EVIL ACROSS THE LAND is a project which seeks to prove how close at hand Evil truly is. What's that rustling in the bushes outside your window?.... Hahahaha hahaha hahahahaha haha! Wait, there's more. Click the picture below. Stickers for sale! $3 E-mail Dave  Dig this link. Ah, a one-speeder layin' it out like it should be. 11/12/03 - The venerable Don Corsini, lord of the Minneapolis underworld, a.k.a. Corrosion, a.k.a. Meester Guy, has held a gun to my head and required me to allow him to blogify all over the Evil site. Please view the outpouring of mental goo here.