Corrosion
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Corrosion Beefy, once best known as the man who single-handedly revived the failing British corduroy industry, was also variously a political advisor to Winston Churchill, a squab flusher for Teddy Roosevelt, and undersecretary to Colonel Sanders.  

He was called a communist when he arranged a massive wheat sale to the Soviet Union during a famine in the 1920s and became the USSR's unofficial American liaison….wait, no, that was Armand Hammer.  

These days, Dr. Beefy  writes incendiary nonsense for Evilcycling.com’s What Is It With You, Anyway? web log and stays amazingly youthful by riding his bike and drinking too much.