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Evil's Winter Summit
Iowa City, Iowa, Nov 29 - Dec 1, 2002
Aw Hell. That's about all I got left I'm afraid, I'm done
'til the sun shines again. In the meantime, I'll be wrapped in thermal
blankets, with a tube inserted near my mouth so I can still slurp down
PBR. Wow, was that fun.
Evil forces converged on Coralville/Iowa City on Friday
the 29th of November from the west, north, and east, giving us 9 members
in good standing, er....stumbling....in the same locale at
once. Sov and Hartman had taken care of outfitting us with rides from
their bike collections, and it was a matter of hours, and running out of
beer on a super cold friday night, before we were on our bikes headed
for downtown Iowa City. Yep. 11:00pm. Pitch black, maybe 15 degrees with
a whipping wind, and the 9 of us saddled up and hit the trails, paths
and roads to get to some downtown drinking establishments nearer the
campus. Even Carter, our driver, braved the elements and borrowed a
bike, and his efforts were admirable, although he paid for them later.
It's safe to say we were the only people traveling by
two wheels that night. The trek over to The Deadwood was punctuated by
Bear's hilarious mid-speed unplanned dismount, which resulted in a bit
of a sore butt the next day. I caught his airborne bulk out of the
corner of my eye, and laughed most heartily, and I'm glad he was o.k.,
or I'd have felt like a cock for laughing so hard. Just not everyday you
see an airborne Bear in subzero pitch black. We also got to revisit part
of The Old Capitol Cup Criterium race course I had raced earlier in the
year. That hill is NOT fun. Sov was good enough to bring me the majestic
Surly CrossCheck single speed with the most supafly Salsa flared bars,
and I immediately bonded with that ride and stayed upright, even
comfortable. Steel is real, sucka. I thought about purloining it, but
he's bigger than me. Besides, not wise to draw the ire of your own team
enforcer.
After a fairly nice bike pile, The Deadwood never knew
what hit it. There musta been a hundred pitchers of cheap beer flying
around our table, and kudos to our waitress (whose name I never
acquired) for doing such a great job with such heathens. Trips across
the street for pizza, or just breaks outside to get some air to try to clear
the billowing cigarette smoke coming from the bar, and more and more
beer. The ride home was fragmented and cold, and Hartman's bed has NEVER
felt more comfortable.
The next morning found Evil contingents spread throughout
the city. We ended up in three groups by the end of all the hilarity.
Finding everyone, stuffing our faces, (breakfast of course punctuated by
bloody mary's with beer backs), stopping at the liquor store for a few
cases of ammo, and getting ready to ride by noon was how we spent
saturday morning. Bear was wise and decided to hang out at Casa de
Hartman with Carter, to watch college football and go shopping for
trinkets. With the mercury maybe sniffing the 20 degree mark,
with 20mph winds gusting to more than that, we set out on a long death
march of a ride. The local superrider set a blistering pace for most of
the day through dirt paths, cornfields, rocky inclines and descents,
paved paths, roads, and just about any other patch of earth you could
ride on, over, or through. Jane, Rob, and I represented Evil near the
front, and didn't let the local boy get too far away. Jane is a hell of
a rider and only improving, and as she approaches her first race season
in an Evil uniform, join us in watching her in reverance. Rob's form is
most impressive, too, and I look for great things from him next year.
Hartman, Sov, and Biddle (who just wore shorts - a true hard man of
cycling) took up positions about 50 seconds back, basically telling us
and our craving for speed to fuck right off. My single speed (I think a
46x17, or close to that) proved excellent for cruising, but a little
tough on 20% plus dirt inclines. My foot never hit the ground though,
you know that much. The local we were with thought the idea of stopping
for beer was silly, so needless to say we parted ways with him when we
got back to town. Man. I was chilled. Warm in the core but my
extremities, my Chort, and the skin on my face were beginning to pay the
price. Luckily, Bob's Place had cold pitchers, and the old timer even
had Radiohead's "The Bends" on his jukebox. It was Fake
Plastic Trees and Budwesier baby, and it was awesome!
After some lounging at Hartman's watching American
Movie, some of us showered, some didn't, and it was off to our team
dinner at a little mexican place outside of town. Giant burritos,
pitchers of margaritas and numerous Negro Modelo's helped out the
parliamentary procedure as we discussed business, welcomed new members,
laughed about the day's ride, and tended to some general bonding.
A brief stop at the Hilltop cafe yielded more pitchers to
us, but then the wheels started to fall off. By the time I hit Rob's
floor that night, and a fire got built, my lights went out. Thank
goodness they didn't marker me. The Chort contest the next morning was
awesome, and the breakfast Gayle and Rob cooked up was the most
delicious I have EVER had. Thanks, for going above and beyond the call,
to The Clark family. Thanks to Hartman too, for his accomodations.
All in all, a great first meeting of the new roster.
Missing only Cheever and Hurl, all other new and old members were in
attendance, and it was very promising for the year to come. It looks as
though there may be some geographical relocation going on for some of
us, but rest assured Evil will field a full 11 person roster come July
and Ragbrai. I was impressed at the form of our riders, given this
odd time of year, especially our new acquisitions. Good job guys, I'm so
very proud of you. I look forward to having these horses by my side
through the season and on the great 'Brai!!!!
Funny, this early monday morning finds sideways snow
coming down in Chicagoland, accumulating rapidly on the ground outside.
Looks like we got the ride in just in time! Until next time.......
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Evil Winter Summit
