You Don’t Have To Train, Just Wear Evil
Victory is fun. Just ask Anna Grace.
She’s a pack a day smoker with chronic joint inflammation, who has broken all her limbs multiple times in car accidents. But when she puts the Evil on and jumps in a hilly-ish Cat 4 women’s road race in Oregon, she becomes a threshing machine on a bike killing all vegetation around her. Oh yeah, and winning the race. Which then immediately results in handstands, which she’ll maintain for about an hour.
nice socks
Of course, to the victor go the spoils and in this case it was one free PBR to the winner and each of her support crew, and also the launch codes for all of North Korea’s nuclear missiles. She can do with them as she pleases.
win a bike race, get nuclear codes in an envelope
We’re lobbying for target suggestions, so leave a comment and tell us who we should nuke. The front runner is the Vatican. Who needs those assholes anyway?
So get your Evil on, and become a super power just like that. You might also get some beer out of the deal.
the Mormon Tabernacle should immediately follow the vatican, followed by pat robertson
In this order, Vatican, NRA, Canada (Throw them off course), India (no more phone support for your computer), Nebraska (Giant glass ice skating arena!), Panama (free use of the newly created EVIL canal), oh. I’m sorry. How many do we have? I mean really, I could go on and on. Sarah “embarrassment to women” Palin in there somewhere, but I love Alaska.
Bellingham